Hond de (~en)
1 dog, hound pas op voor de hond ~ beware of dog

The dutchies love their dogs. A lot.

Now, before some of you start getting the wrong kind of mental image in your head based on what you may have heard about the Dutch, you need to slow your roll. The dutch love for dogs is entirely platonic. That said, they really do love the furry little critters.

Dogs are everywhere in the Netherlands. They’re on street corners, in shopping malls, on sidewalks, in restaurants, in parks, on bike trails. They get there in cars, trucks, bicycle baskets, by paw, by Vespa scooter, even those weird dirt bikes with the truck bed on front. They get carried in arms, in shopping bags, in old lady purses, young lady purses, middle aged lady purses, what straight men call urban messenger bags and what gay men call purses. They’re allowed in movie theaters, parking garages, moped seats, restaurants, grocery stores, corporate offices, my colleague’s office, my boss’ office, even my office.

My workplace has no less then two dogs there almost every day (three, if you count Warnar, the guy who works across from me. More on that later). One of the little rascals is a friendly, fast-growing pup named Mac who has a special liking for me (and anyone else who will scratch his belly). The other is a wizened old terrier of some kind named Dopey who alternates between sleeping in the sun and barking at anyone who comes past the first floor. Dopey is also of special note when considering dutch dogs because he has transcended multiple stereotypes by developing a perversely strong taste for cheese. Yes, that’s right: a dog so dutch, he’s addicted to cheese.

I think it says a fair amount about the Dutch relationship with dogs that they would think to feed them cheese on a regular basis anyways. From what I can tell, dogs here have some kind of honorary citizen status that enables them to do about 80% of whatever people can do. In fact, considering my status here as kennismigrant, they may have more rights then I do. For instance, there is a fine for letting your dog poop in public and not cleaning it up, but judging by dutch sidewalks the notion is token at best. In comparison, I think I’d get fined for relieving myself in public even if I did make a point of always cleaning up after myself. At the very least, I’m sure the fine is higher for me.

Speaking as a dog lover, though, I have to say that it’s refreshing to see animals treated so well though. Dutch people seem to treat their dogs with respect and dignity, they’re certainly not seen as dumb animals. Any nation that would allow dogs inside the majority of grocery stores certainly sees them as part of the family. Maybe not brother or sister, but certainly first cousin at least. They also seem to be exceedingly common here, perhaps as part of the dutch obsession with coziness (gezellig). I think it would be quite impossible for me to bike to and fro work in one day and not see several dogs. It’s a little stranger then you think at first, actually. I don’t know about a lot of you back in the States or in big cities, but how often was the last time you saw several people walking downtown with their dog casually in tow?

In return, the dogs for their part seem to be remarkably well behaved and understanding of their surroundings. I’ve seen several instances of someone biking down the street at a good clip, pursued on the sidewalk by a large dog casually weaving in and out of pedestrians to keep up with the weird human wiggling his feet on the big spinning gear machine. And while not all grocery stores here allow dogs in, in the ones that do I have yet to see a dog do anything at the butcher counter then sit patiently and wag his tail a bit. I don’t know if this is a nation of dog whisperers or what, but these are far and away the best behaved pets I’ve ever seen.

All that said, I’m still not sure I’d want to let Dopey accompany me into the kaashandel.

Pros:

Dogs are cute. They can go everywhere with you. In a nation of small yards, this is a good thing.

Cons:

Dog poop everywhere. Still not 100% about dogs in the grocery store.

Verdict:

Win